Energy Toolbox for Effective Conflict Resolution

Recently I attended “Radiance Master Classes” by Transformational Coach Suzanne Adams. I have been listening to Suzanne Adam’s on an off. The first time I learnt about her work is in this TED Talk What I liked about her master classes are the calming effects that those had on me. Also she mentioned bigger vessels can take more – so we have to expand our energetic container. Her session on emotional intelligence and conflict management is the one that I liked most. She provided her real life story/example of how she used her understanding of energy entanglement so as not to react when a person triggered her button. When we react our energy gets entangled with the other person’s energy and the whole situation becomes chaotic. But if we do not react then that entanglement does not happen. Also I read somewhere that until we have the lesson /until we tackle a tricky situation right the situation reappears. In the exam of life you an stay in same grade until you have the lesson. Also the situation or person that triggers us is showing us areas where we still need to work for our spiritual growth. I took courses by many transformational coaches so far but I have not found any session yet that covered emotional intelligence from divinity/spirituality perspective. Hence this is the one that worked most effectively for me as now a days explanation that is based on energy dimension speaks to my heart. I applied that training (it was free that time) during my tricky work situations recently. I would react and make it worse in the past. But as of recently I handled those situations fairly well and have more peace at work. I am looking for ways to purchase recording of that session. If I find how to I will post the link. In the meantime I am searching for something useful that talks about spiritual ways of conflict resolution.

This quote by Victor Frankl is worth considering “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” . Instead of immediately reacting in a provocative situation we can pause for more effective response and situation management.

Also here is an excellent video  from Wayne Dyer – that if we squeeze an orange we get orange juice no matter how hard/how soft it is pressed. What is inside that comes out. Similarly if we are angry under stress then the anger is within us. How did it get there? By our thoughts. So by managing thoughts we can manage what is inside and what will come out under difficult situation.

We cannot remove darkness with darkness ; we need light. Similarly we cannot effectively manage conflict by being engaging in angry fight, yelling etc. We have to express what is in our mind in healthy manner. I heard an excellent presentation on YouTube that used this following story. Let’s say a five year old wants to drive a car. If you do not let it it is having tantrum. Dumping that kid in the trunk of the car to keep him/her quiet is an unhealthy approach. Similarly giving in and letting her drive the car is equally unhealthy approach. We have to find healthy way to set expectation with the kid. Same is true in case of all conflict resolution scenarios.

For managing conflict recently I introduced another technique – that is making up a song in my head and signing “Hey hola Ni Hao let’s turn lemon into lemonade – wohoooo” . Got the idea after reading Lisa N.’s book “No matter what. Also music/singing were used by some people in the concentration camp and other confinements to keep their spirits up in those seemingly tough and hopeless situations. That inspired my “music in head” approach to calm myself down.

Couple of years ago I was a consultant/contractor/vendor with Ministry of Jobs. There was a contractor from another company. That person used to provide me unsolicited advice in very patronizing ways even though he did not have a lot of knowledge on those subjects (that I figured). I wish I knew more effective ways of handling such patronizing behaviors instead of bottling up my anger and frustration. Suzanne Adam’s and all the other tactics that I mentioned above could be very useful if I knew of these tactics in the past. Those would make those days of running my small business more peaceful and productive.

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